This knee-biting metaphor from the Lions’ new coach is the weirdest football quote

The Lions introduced new head coach Dan Campbell on Thursday, and it’s clear he wants his players to be biters … literally.

It takes a lot of skill to come up with hilarious new platitudes to discuss toughness in football, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of literally eating your opponent. Let alone their kneecaps, which are objectively the least-edible part of a human.

I know the sentiment here is “we’re going to keep getting back up and deliver more pain than we’re given,” but the least Campbell could do is come up with parts of the human to eat other than the kneecap. A kneecap is basically just skin covering cartilage and bone. Kneecaps would make a good broth, but I don’t know if their pure bite-ability is the best thing here.

Also, I don’t know how you’d bite a kneecap through a football helmet unless a player had really long kneecaps, or if you had a prehensile second mouth like a xenomorph from Alien.

The mind boggles, but you do you, Dan Campbell.